World's Best One Liner Jokes | Great One Liners For Thought

World's best one liners, reaad this huge list of 1 liners, one one liner per line. These great one liners include funny one liners, jokes one liners, famous one liners, best one liners, hilarious one liners, some funniest one liners, serious one-liners, women one liner jokes, men funny one liner jokes, quote in one line, thought provoking jokes one liner, good one liners, really funny one liners jokes, and funny one liner for kids, pick your favorite one liner joke and send to your friends for a huge laugh!

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Never answer an anonymous letter.
It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
Few women admit their age; few men act it.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Life is too complicated in the morning.

We are all part of the ultimate statistic-ten out of ten die.
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
I intend to live forever. So far so good.
Who is "General Failure" and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
I didn't use to finish sentences, but now I
I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Vacation begins when Dad says, "I know a short cut."
Evolution: True science fiction.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.