Remember how innocent you were when you were young and how you used to say whatever you felt like? Well here’s is a list of funny kid quotes that will push your laughing button and make you remember the sheer humor of innocently said things. It’s a combination of funny things kid say and do, and the funny words they say (which sometimes are not even words). So enjoy the top 20 funniest things kid say!
- My sister was four years old at the time and she was just constantly asking questions and my mom finally got enough and told her to run away from home. My sister with her witty come backs said well mom i can’t cross the street so you we’ll just have to run away with me.
2. One spring day, my husband was talking on the phone with our five-year-old granddaughter, Erika. He asked her if her mother had planted the garden yet, mentioning that she should plant potatoes so they could have French fries. With a slight laugh, Erika said, “Pop Pop, you know French fries don’t come from potatoes. They come from McDonald’s.”
3. Melanie asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Said Melanie, “If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.
4.Brittany had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: “How does it know it’s me?”
5. My three-year-old daughter received a certificate of achievement following her last swimming class. When my husband came home from work that evening, I handed him the cherished award. “Char-lotte, would you like to tell your daddy what this is?” I asked. Charlotte thought for a moment. “Daddy,” she exclaimed in her proudest, most confident voice, “this is my terrificate!”
6. Danni stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: “How much do I cost?”
7. Tammy was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, “Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”
8. Little Jacob had a hard time getting use to a new baby in the house. Coming out of his bedroom talking rather loud and being told to be quiet, the baby is asleep, he very seriously said, “Well ya’ll better be quiet, cause my foot’s asleep.”
9. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
10. A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
“Momma, look what I found!” the boy called out.
“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”
11. Recently I realized I’d never shown my four-and-a-half-year-old son, Cameron, my baby pictures. After seeing them one day, he said, “If these are your baby pictures, where are the dinosaurs?”
12. My dad likes to amuse my two-year-old daughter, Kristin, by “magically” pulling quarters out of her ears. On a recent trip to the store, Kristin spotted a gumball machine and immediately began asking for money. I explained to her that the machine needed a quarter and I didn’t have one. Wasting no time, she replied, “Well, look in my ears. Papa always finds money there.”Ha
13. Me: What would you like to be when you grow up? Mwajuma: I want to be a fish. I’ve never seen a fish. Do you eat fish?
14. My precious 4 year old daughter named Kelsey adopted a male cocker spaniel (adorable little dog). I was bathing my daughter in the bath tub when suddenly the dog came running in, my daughter started screaming to the top of her lungs – “No mama, he can not come in!!” “But honey, I answered, he is only a dog!” “But mom, he is a BOY! And I am naked!”
15. I asked my 5-Year Old ”Where do Eggs come from?” Thinking she’d reply ‘Chickens!’ – Of course, things never go to plan and she replied ”Tesco!!”
16. When my son was younger, and thinking he would be stuck for words, I asked what he did when he was in my tummy, He thought for a second or two, shrugged his shoulders, and said “just walked about all day”
17. My 6 year old son was taking a bath the other night. I ran in to wash his hair and he was trying to get out. I said “we need to wash your hair quick before you get out”. He sat back down and looked at his fingers (which were wrinkly) and said,”Oh great, now I’m getting old”.
18. When my daughter Sydalia was about three she overheard her brother use the word human. Not understanding she asked me what it meant. I replied that it was another word for a person or people. “Oh”, she said matter of factly, “I’m not a human.” “You’re not?” I asked in surprise to which she answered no. Curious I asked if she was a plant or animal. “No, I’m not,” she said. “Mommy don’t you know what I am?” “Well if you’re not a human or animal or plant I’m not sure what you are,” I said. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at me and replied “I’mmm a kid, duh!”
19. One Sunday after church, I asked my kids what they learned. My daughter who is in the pre-school age class said, “We learned about Jesus”. Excited that she remembered, I asked her “What did Jesus do?” Her reply was, “I don’t know Mommy, and he wasn’t there.”
20. We were driving in the car the other day and my 9 year old son Jake said to me, “Mom, History is so stupid…” I told him it’s important that we learn from History. He said, “Why in the world is it important for us to learn Betty Burger’s Address??” I was confused at first, then it hit me… “Do you mean THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS???”
He said, “Yeah, that’s it!”