101 Ways to Annoy People
Learn 101 ways to annoy people, which include ways to annoy parents, ways to annoy teachers and just generally annoying people. Its 101 ways to brighten your day with a little humor and enlighten you with creativity of human mind to disrupt another human! So put on your laughing head gear on and bring the much wanted laughter to your day!
1. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
2. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
3. Put your face really close to theirs while they’re facing a different direction, tap them on the shoulder, and watch them Jump when they turn to face you.
4 Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace”.
5. Ask people what gender they are.
6. Pull up alongside somebody while driving on the freeway, and
7. Gesture violently, indicating that they should pull over immediately. When they pull over, just continue driving.
8 After somebody finishes telling a joke, say in a very grave tone, “My brother (sister/mother/father) died that way.”
9. Pay for a tube of toothpaste with a check at the supermarket.
10. Hide the remote control.
11. Call a house at random, and ask for Gary. When they tell you that there’s no Gary there, call again a little while later. Do this at intervals about four times. Finally, when they’re fuming and about to scream bloody murder, call a fifth time, and say, “Hi, this is Gary. Are there any messages for me?”
12. Walk up to someone you know, and say something to the effect of,
“Hey, did you hear what happened to Jim? Well he was with…oh,
man, I really shouldn’t tell you this. No, I promised I wouldn’t
tell. No, I can’t tell you, sorry.”
13. Tap the person on the shoulder continuously, and when you have their attention, just continue tapping them on the shoulder.
14. At a movie theater, unwrap a candy bar as loudly as is humanly possible, preferably during dialogue.
15. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
16. Sing along at the opera
17. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”
18. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say “Wait, start over. I wasn’t paying attention.”
19. Say to people, “Did you wear deodorant today?”
20. Say “okay, you’re gay” to anything someone says.
21. As people talk, smell their shoulders.
22. Insist completely ridiculous things are true – like Bush is still President.
23. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.
24. Phone McDonald’s and try to make a reservation for that evening.
25. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman.
26. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you’re staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, and then run away. Repeat.
27. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you’re doing. Reply, “I’ve been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You’re weird!” Leave the restaurant.
28. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.
29. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is “Just better quality”
30. Order a pizza and ask them if they can “please put the crust on top this time” in an exasperated voice.
31. Pretend you are invisible.
32. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, “Have you got enough air in there?”
33. When you’re in an argument, no matter what it’s about, keep yelling “I don’t see your name on it!”
34. . WRIGHT N AL CAPITOL LETERS AND MISSSSSPEL EVRYTHIND!!!
35. Speak only in a “robot” voice.
36. Pass wind in public and then look at your wife in disdain.
37. Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”
38. Read out loud what they’re typing in an email or letter.
39. Sit at the ticket booth of a cinema and chew bubblegum loudly, blowing bubbles and popping them in there ears. When they complain state its apart of the Prophecy.
40. When talking to someone important, Twitch your eyes constantly and whisper idiotic things like “Mint toothpaste” and “Cornflakes” until the person walks away.
41. When in a lift, constantly make random noises (farting, sheep and stuff) and blame it on the people around u…especially if there are only two other people
42. During the film, leave, announcing loudly that you are going to the bathroom
43. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing”
44. Go to a horror movie and scream at every minor thing
45. Walk in an elevator picking your nose, then wipe it on the ground floor button.
46. Walk into a full elevator and then start fake coughing. Then say “Sorry everyone but I have the swine flu“
47. Talk on your phone loudly about prison stories and how you cant believe they let you out for (use your imagination to fill in the blank)
48. Make random conversation with other people in the elevator. Ask them if they prefer the newer model of elevator and complain that the one you’re in has “glitches”.
49. Ask the person beside you in the elevator “dose the voices in my head annoy you”
50. When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, officer? There’s no blood in my alcohol”
51. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.
52. Stand outside the elevator and ask for a dollar to go into the elevator, then when they pay, let them in, but don’t let them press any buttons, then say “Your elevator will be leaving in an hour”.
53. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
54. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout “I win!”
55. Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are “just reorganizing things.”
56. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, “Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?”
57. While walking make car noises loudly
58. Explain “the little green men” in detail to someone, and when they don’t believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.
59. Hit a random person with a rubber chicken and yell, “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY APPLE JUICE YOU JERK!!!”
60. Carry a baseball bat for “Emergencies”
61. Turn the lights on and off for a full five minutes and then say in wonderment, “So that’s how it works!
62. Cover your face with your hands and say, ‘You can’t see me!!!
63. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
64. Practice making fax and modem noises.
65. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
66. Sniffle incessantly.
67. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
68. Name your dog “Dog.”
69. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don’t want to fall off “in case the big one comes”.
70. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, its gone now.”
71. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
72. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
73. Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.
74. Wear a LOT of cologne.
75. At lunchtime, sit in your car in a parking lot along the main street of your base, with sunglasses on, aiming a hair dryer at passing cars.
76. Take a pencil, stick a piece of chewed gum onto it, and stick it
to the ground. Then wait for someone to come along and try to
pick it up.
77. Tell someone, “Man, your hands smell bad!” When they try to smell
their hand, smack it so it hits their face
78. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”
79. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
80. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
81. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
82. Change your name to “AaJohn Aaaaasmith” for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each “a.”
83. When getting money from the cash machine, shout “I WOONNNNN AGAAAIIINNNN!!!” then put the money in your pocket, say “good luck” to the person behind you, and skip off.
84. Change your signature so it takes at least 5 minutes to write.
85. Stand up in a public area, ripping a newspaper screaming “It’s a lie!!!”
86. Sing along to everything really loud so no one else can hear.
87. Say “okay, you’re gay” to anything someone says.
88. As people talk, smell their shoulders.
89. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.
90. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.
91. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
92. Tell people their fly is down when they’re wearing sweat pants.
93. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like “If you don’t send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly” and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.
94. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.
95. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, “Do you know the muffin man?”
96. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers “I must avenge the death of my father.”
97. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device.
98. Super Glue quarters to floors.
99. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub”.
100. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
101. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
